WE'RE BAAAAACK!

A few years ago, we had this family blog that the girls had fun posting family activities, ideas, and mostly we wanted to use it as a family journal.

Then I suffered this thing called a S.C.I. = Spinal Cord Injury.

It has changed our lives.

Every one of our lives have been completely turned upside down and altered.  There were some who suggested that for various reasons we should not blog. So there are certain areas we aren't going to blog about. And we will likely keep the blog private. But I am so proud of how my children have risen to the challenges that have come their way. They have survived and thrived in the midst of things most children won't ever encounter, and they've done it well.  So among other things, we are going to journal about that here.

We have had challenges that seem obvious. And there are other private heartaches that aren't quite as obvious, but nonetheless challenging. Yet here's what we know for sure:

1. Through the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ, nothing is impossible.
2. Families are forever. And we want to be together forever as a family.
3. That second chances are for everyone.
4. That the gospel of Jesus Christ and the Plan of Happiness provide the only way back to Heavenly Father to live with Him forever. We want to live in a way that exemplifies that we are disciples of Him.

We are learning new things every day.  We are still finding our new normal every day.  But every day we are plugging along.  We all do our best every day.  Some days are better than others.  Some days, if everyone is dressed (in pj's) and has eaten 3 meals (all cereal) and is snuggled down in their beds after prayer (even if the only time they got out was to have prayer), we count it as a success.

We just do our best.  That's all the Lord requires of us.  I know every day I wake up and want to do my very best. I don't wake up and wonder what harm I can do to my children to make them end up lamenting to Oprah in 20 yrs.  I don't wake up wanting to embrace the chaos and create filth. I want to wear a lovely apron, pearls, and a fancy dress, heels, and sing and hum a "happy little working song" as I twirl and skip around the house while baking a pie. Just like they did in the '40's. 


Guess what? It's never gonna happen.

• First, I can't stand up to wear heels, twirl, or skip. 
• Second, when I hum, turns out I'm flat. 
• Third, I dislike pie.  
• And fourth... apron, pearls, fancy dress...really?

But we are going to blog again.  Starting...NOW!

There's much to catch up on in the two years that have gone by.  A lot has happened with me. With our family. (Welcome, MASON! Welcome, Jess!) And we look forward to more changes.

• Because fifth, we're learning to embrace change!  

Tiny Tim, Homemade Oreos, and Hand Cycling!

Another busy few days here in rehab.  For real, I feel busy! And tired.  They wear me out.  I have OT at 9 and 11, PT at 10 and 230, and somewhere in there, an hour of Rec Therapy.

 

If I back up the past few days....Sunday is definitely the day of rest here.  I didn't do ANYTHING.  It actually got boring. But there are no therapy sessions, nothing, so Sunday you just rest.  By Monday I understood why because they just nail you again come Monday morning.  Monday I had the usual 5 therapies, then we had our Family/Friend Meeting with the Spinal Cord Care Coordinator - her name is Summer - and she is a - maz - ing.  I was so touched by the support group I have. My family was there.  And good friends.  I am just so blessed and so so so grateful.



Me and Summer front and center at the family meeting.  The mannequin booty looks so much like mine it's just uncanny.

The meeting was very informative, maybe a little boring, but we got all the information out there.  I even cried a little.  Summer said, "Shelly will walk again.  It won't be the same as it was before.  It won't be unassisted.  But she will walk." And I lost it. 

My awesome friend, Stef (Lamoreaux) Macfarlane.
Looks like she's making the best of the meeting.
We've been friends since high school  We lined her up
with her awesome husband, Bob, who
was Mat's fave mission companion. They
have been there through thick and thin for us for
YEARS. They are Tanner's second parents.
Or maybe first parents.  Anyway, we love the Macfarlanes!

During the meeting, my new wheelchair and walker arrived!  I was seriously so excited it's bizarre.  This is me seeing it for the first time.  Almost as good as Christmas morning.  Almost.

Add caption

The test drive!

Yesterday was probably my busiest - and best - day yet.  I had my 2 OT (occupational therapy) sessions, my 2 PT (physical therapy) sessions, and my  RT (recreational therapy) session. Now get used to those words because it's acronmys from here on out, people.

During my first PT yesterday, I was able to try crutches! They are the Tiny Tim kind, and they had a therapist on either side of me, but I did it - and loved it.  There's something 'better' about crutches for me than a walker.  Maybe I just need the tennis balls on the front of the walker, and a nice basket with flowers on it or something, but right now I loathe the walker.  And it felt way more normal to use crutches to attempt walking.  I am seeing I have more hang ups than I ever thought!  And the good news? They come in different colors -- red, blue, pink, purple, etc.  Oh you know I'll be scoring the pink ones.  And I juuuuust happen to have extra rhinestones from the last time I blinged out Halle's glasses.  That bling may just be finding its new home on some Tiny Tim's...

Then it was time for OT.  Natalie (the OT) said, "Hey, would you like to bake again for OT?"  and right then, another therapist walked by and said, "Oh--thank you for the banana bread the other day. Are you going to be cooking again soon?"  and I looked at Natalie and she blushed a little.  I said, "Yep.  Baking today for 'therapy'!"  So into the kitchen we went.  I decided to make homemade oreoes.  They're so easy and everyone likes them.  I made a batch of vanilla and a batch of chocolate.  About mid way through, another therapist came in and asked if I could use a buddy.  I said sure...?   So guess what.  I have a new friend....

Her name is Lois.  Lois lives in Chicago and is out here visiting her son in Park City. She was on the toilet one day (seriously, she just rattled this off like not big deal) and couldn't stand up so they took her to the ER and she'd had a stroke.  She has no feeling or use of the left side of her body. So her goal during her session was to stand for 5 min.  They decided we should do some teamwork and I should frost the one cookie and she should top it to make it an oreo and stack it on a plate.  (this is my day.  baby steps. baby steps.)  So I tried to be obedient and remember "there's no 'I' in team", and Lois and I were off to the races.  I tried to not notice her mega wedgie when she stood up in clingy sweatpants and I'm sure she tried not to notice my hideous hair.  I'd frost a cookie (from my chair) and hand it up to her to top and stack.  Well, she tried, bless her heart.  But the tops were on crooked she didn't put pressure on to squeeze the frosting to the edge of the cookies. I was like LOIS THROW ME A BONE HERE!  I was just about to get a twitch and then Natalie said, "Why don't you top them, Shelly, and we'll just have Lois stack them."  Whew.  So I topped them and Lois stacked them. And stack them she did. Lois decided to make the leaning tower of Pisa.  I said Hey Lois, how about we only stack 2 or 3 high, then they won't slide all over.  OK I am not anal about very many things.  Probably hard to find anything I really am anal about.  But I like my baking done my way.  And Lois wasn't doing it my way so I even thought I'm gonna bump her over in my chair! Anyhoo, Lois didn't listen to me about the Leaning Tower of Pisa so then I said, how about we separate them by chocolate and vanilla, thinking Lois should learn to sort more than stack.  It worked! Then she didn't pike them 1 mile high and they quite sliding all over. What a relief.  See, rehab is very stressful. Cookie stacking can just cause such tension in spinal cord injury recovery.  I think Lois and I were both exhausted.

Boo Hoo...

Knock Knock?
                Who's there?
Boo.
                 Boo who?
Don't have to cry about it, it's just a joke...

I did it.  I cried about it.  All night.  Yep.  The Ugly Cry - complete with red, blotchy face, contortions, snorts, snots, and all other things unpleasant that come with T(he) U(gly) C(ry).

Here's why I cried - in random  - not alphabetical order.  And not even in order of priority.  Just random.  Because that seems to be my life plan.

• I can't lift my Halle on to my lap by myself*
• I can't throw my kids in the car and go to the pool, movie, mall, lunch....you get the idea.  Because I can't drive. Or lift.  Or bend. Or twist.* 
• I can't walk up and down my stairs without help*
• I can't walk.  Without help!*
• I can't feel my leg when I rub lotion on it.*
• I can't move my toes.  At all*
• I can't bake or do anything in my kitchen without someone assisting.* I do not like assistants, generally speaking...
• I can't do Simply Sweet anymore.
• I can't play the organ.*  Yep. I'm a nerd.  I love playing the organ.  For some, it's a secret I've hidden well.  For others, I take your mocking like a man.  In any case, I can't play the organ.  Unless I rig myself up something like this....

*YET!

YETYETYETYETYETYETYETYETYETYETYETYETYET!

I can't do those things *yet.  But I'm going to. And it's going to be sooner rather than later. Here's why:

I got an email today from my cousin, Stacey.  I haven't kept in touch with Stacey over the years. But in the past week or so, she has secured her place on my Life Hero List.  Stacey has MS.  And she doesn't fuss about it.  She just has it.  Her mom, my Aunt Marie, came to visit me this week, and brought 98 year old Grandma Verna to see me.  Now Grandma is in better shape than anyone up here, inlcuding me at this point.  They brought me a card and a book on CD (The Help - I am stoked!) They came right as I started PT so they came to the gym with me and stayed through my whole PT session.  And Grandma was so proud of me.  She thought I "did just great!"  As only a Grandma can say.  She clapped when I tried to step.  She said, "OooooH!" in a high pitch voice when I could move something. And probably even when I didn't.

Later that day, I guess Aunt Marie told Stacey, who sent an email full of valuable suggestions and advice, both on the medical horizon and well as mental/emotional.  And one thing she said that has stuck in my brain all day is,

"Don't focus on what you can't do, focus on what you can do." 

Ah - Ha!   I need to forget about what I used to do, and how to do it, and find the way I'm going to do it now.  And NOW isn't forever, I don't think.  There's too much ongoing research, and too many cutting edge treatments, and so many options for recovery.  Maybe not full recovery.  Probably not. But recovery is in the eyes of the beholder I think!

It is what it is. And it's a spinal cord injury.  It isN'T pretty.

But it doesn't mean that my limitations today are my limitations forever.  Because I hate being bossed around.  I really don't like that one bit.  Never have.  So since I'm the boss of myself, I guess I will be the one deciding what I can and can't do.  And every day I'm going to decide.  Today I'm deciding I'm a little bit mad.

Today Clara - one of Sara's dearest friends who we love as our own daughter - got married to cute Andy.  And I couldn't go to the ceremony. And I'm mad. (told you, no politically correct.  No Pollyanna.)  They wouldn't let me leave because I have too many therapies in the morning.  But thanks to Stacey...guess what I realized?

The "cans".

I can/did get to go...to the reception. Now it took two days to get things in place, but it was soooo worth it.

I'm learning that stuff around here is much more involved than I realized on many levels.  To bust me out for any length of time (maximum time? 3 hrs!) the Dr. has to write an order ok-ing it.  Then PT has to make goals for me to accomplish in order to count it as a "therapeutic time out". They have to know all details: where I'm going, who is in charge of me (my dad and my  niece, Amy, who is a nurse), the kind of car I'll be in (had to ride in Dad's dumpy Lexus haha) ,  where I'm going  (to the Neff residence to an outdoor wedding reecption), what I'll actually be "doing" (eating wonderful food at a wedding reception), and when I'll be back. (that's a loaded question.  They gave me 2 hrs.  No exceptions.)   Then they have to approve it all through my insurance (some insurance companies think if you're ok to leave for 2 hrs, you're ok to go home.  I tend to agree... :)  But the biggie is getting back on time; apparently it messes up everything here if you're not back when you're supposed to be.  My Time Out was from 6-8.  Mark....Set...Go!

Next, they adjust all your medications (um...I'm taking a lot of those...more on that later!)  so that you're properly medicated for your outing and don't need them while you're gone.  Then I have to "practice" anything I have to do during my time away so I don't get hurt or exacerbate the injury.  The goals my PT set for me for my time out (well, I call it my furlough....) were:

• Self Propel  That means push myself in the wheelchair not have a push-er like I'm the Queen of Egypt.  I'd rather be the Queen of Egypt.  My arms are flabby and jiggle when roll myself in this chariot. And they get tired.  I'm no athelte, ok?!
• Transfer Unassisted  That means get myself from my chair to the car, etc.
• NO BLT! (no Bending Lifting Twisting)  I really struggle with this one.  It is mostly habit/reflexive...you drop something, you reach down to pick it up.  You see something or someone as you roll on by, you twist and look behind you or around you to see what it is.  And lifting...are you kidding me? I have a three year old!

My best friend, Karen, and sweet daughter, Carly, came 2 hrs before launch and got me ready.  That's a true friend.  Carly and Karen did my hair, nails, dressed me, and primped and fussed over me like I was going to the ball.  It was so fun for me.  Everything is fun with Karen -- we just celebrated our 20 yr friendship anniversary.  But seriously, to come do my hair, nails, dress me...a loving act of service and I am so thankful.  I felt like a real person.  Lotion! Make Up! Hairspray!  Ahhh. It's the little things.

Next thing I can/got to do? I got go on a date with my Dad tonight for 2 hours! I got to be wtih my awesome husband and crazy kids for awhile in a non-hopsital setting.  Heaven, people.  It was heaven.

Now probably 90 mins of  my 2 hrs out was loading my big self and equipment up (such a pretty visual), and thank you to my stellar Dad for being willing (he actually offered) to be my personal slave, chauffeur, nurse, PT, etc.  He did that so Mat could just focus on getting the kids to the wedding, and then once there, they just played and enjoyed.  And when pumpkin time arrived, Dad returned me to the hospital -on time - so Mat and the kids could keep having a fun night.  I guess that's what Dads do.  Mine does anyway.  I'm so lucky. And Mom was so sweet to let me have him for the night.  My mom has a hard time getting around with some of her health challenges, so it would have be hard to have Dad take us both.  Mom decided to stay home so Dad could just do me.  But she sent a little token like a fairy godmother...Dad pulled a diamond necklace out of his pocket when he arrived and handed it over.  Just like on Pretty Woman.  Sort of.  But I got to wear my Mom's diamond pave necklace that is shaped like a Hershey's Kiss. Only Renee.   I laughed my head off - and felt like a million bucks wearing it for the night.  Honestly, parents are the best.  Mine are anyway.  Funny how stuff like this opens your eyes to this...parenting never ends.  Unfortunately for them, it never seems to for my 76 yr old folks.  They do it well. 



My handsome date, Marvelous.  The blue boot? That just helps with foot drop.  My dead leg has a droopy foot. This giant boot holds it in place kind of like a cast to keep the foot from just hanging there and turning in.



Mat got all the kids ready and we met at the wedding at just about the exact same time.  Clara looked gorgeous, Andy was a handsome groom, and it was so nice to be outside and feel like a regular family.  I'm never going to take for granted my 'regular family'.  It's the best.  I got to see lots of friends that we've missed since our recent move to Bountiful.  It was wonderful. 

It was kind of hard, too.

I had to sit there in the chair and I didn't used to think I was too prideful, but guess what?  I think I have some pride issues.  I felt awkward sitting there and having people bend over or crouch down to talk to me.  It was hard to talk about what happened.  I didn't want to.  I just wanted to stand up and be like everyone else.  It was humbling to have my dad and 3 other guys have to lift me from one level of the backyard to another.  I was embarassed.  That is prideful. 

I wondered how Mat felt as he came with all the kids and met me there...in my chair.  Not really what we had planned for our life.  So it's not going to be permanent.  Because it wasn't in our plan.  But he always makes me feel like I'm the hottest thing walking - er rolling - and acts like he doesn't even notice.  He's a good man.

Halle: I want to say something.
Katie: Then say something.
Halle: Stinky pickles!

My kids acted so happy to see me there and just hugged and kissed me.  Chloe is very nurturing and wanted to help get my food, and make sure I was all set up at the table.  Halle is getting to be a pro at climbing up on me in the chair.  I love it.

I got tired pretty quickly so we bailed out, but we did stop by Grandma Verna's on the way back to the hospital. 

I love my Grandma.  So, so, so much.

At age 98, she is still my biggest cheerleader no matter what I do.  Dad went in her house and got her to come outside to "see who's in the car".  She threw her skinny arms up and said "Oh! Oh! OH!!!" in this high pitched squeak that she usually only does when Dad, Marie, or LuAnn walk in the room.  I feel honored to be part of the Club That Makes Grandma Squeak.  She hugged and kissed me through the car window, then grabbed my hand and just rubbed and rubbed my arm. She told me I look "just great!",  and said she was so proud of me.  That's Grandma.  She always makes us feel beautiful and that she couldn't be more proud of us-even if all I was doing was sitting in a car.  I adore her.

Dad told her I had to be back to the hospital before the clock struck 8, and it was 7:30.  Well, that was it.   Grandma said "Oh get her back there! Go! Go!" waving her arms around like I was running from the law.  It was awesome.  So Dad and I floored it back to the hospital and I'm pleased to announce we got here at 7:41.  NINETEEN MINUTES TO SPARE.  Take that!

Dad rolled me up to my room and stayed for about a half hour with me as I basked in the glow - and exhaustion - of being part of the world for awhile.  It was so fun.  Mat and the kids stayed a bit longer at the wedding then called to report in on what I missed when I left.  They had a great time and so did I.

Can I just say Mat is the best dad ever.  Ever.  Our kids are lucky.



It's early Sunday morning now, and I slept like a rock.  Best rest I've had in over a month.  Probably due to sheer exhaustion, but also I think they're leveling out my medications so I 'can' rest.  I take several meds now...(possible TMI warning)

• I take pain medication every 4 hrs.  This won't be forever.  My back is still quite painful, especially after therapy - or a wedding.  Sometimes being up in the chair hurts a little too after awhile.
• I take an anti spasmatic/muscle relaxant type medicine. (according to my pal Pam, the anti spaz drug is looonnng over due...)  But it helps the muscles in my dead leg not spasm.  Ahhhh. That is a good feeling.
• I take a medication to help the nerves.  Numbness and tingling (the painful kind) are common after spinal cord injury and I have a lot of neuropathy in my hands and feet, especially at night.  They've been titrating the dose this week, and I think we've hit the golden level, because last night I didn't wake up at 3am feeling like my hands and feet are on fire. 
• I take a couple things to keep the ole bowels going.
• I have my usual migraine pill when needed (sometimes the back spasms/pain trigger a migraine.)
• I get heparin injections to keep the blood from clotting.
• Blood pressure meds as needed. Sometimes my BP goes up a little, sometimes it bottoms out.  It's not happening often at all though so I don't need those too often.
• I take Zofran.  Nausea is an enemy.  Zofran is a friend.
• I am still on massive doses of Decadron - a steroid to help reduce the swelling in my spinal cord.
• Sometimes I get a little insulin.  Being on massive steroids can cause glucose level to be whacked.  I haven't needed it much, but occasionally I have a big dip or spike in blood glucose level.  If it's up, I get a little zap of insulin (that "zap" was a holla to Dr. Giddings)  And a few blessed times, it's been low and they "make" me eat.  I could get used to that...

Seems like there may be another one or two but I can't think what they are. Anyway, another long, rambling post, but remember, this is my "journaling to heal".  So here's the summary:

1. I cried yesterday. Pity Party? Yes.  But it's over.  For now.
2. I was mad yesterday.  Done with that too.  It's too exhausting.

So Cousin Stacey, I'm focusing on my "cans".

I can hang with my BFF and get primped for the wedding.  I can hang with my Dad for a couple hours. I can be with my husband and kids in a normal setting for a bit. I can move my whole upper body with no problem. I can see. I can hear. I can think. (no comments from outside sources here)

I can be grateful.  And I am. My great, full heart is absolutely grateful.  I am the luckiest.

New Adventure!

I feel like a complete narcissist right now.  I hate to say "by popular demand" or "so many of you have asked...", but I've had a few requests for regular updates on the latest fun in our lives.  And it's been suggested that I journal through this journey for my own healing process.  So...here goes the blog.  Rather than start a new blog for just my new path, I figured I'll just comandeer our family blog, which I think we started when Halle was born, to update people on her progress.  And never maintain or update now....

Maybe a blog is a curse! 

In any case...I will try to post regular updates on our current situation. If you're interested or even just desperately bored, read on.  Read often. If you're looking for politcal correctness, constant upbeat Pollyanna attitude, or sugar coating reality, stop now and don't read further.  Ever.  I am not politically correct.  I say what I feel and never mean to offend, so in the words of President Thomas S. Monson, "Dont take offense where none is intended".  (I don't think that's one of his famous gems of wisdom, but I heard it in a talk once and loved it---and have never forgotten it!)  I may use words that aren't eloquent.  I'll probably overshare ... TMI...consider yourself warned.   But I'm just going to get it all out here, probably more therapeutic for me than informational for you.   Just think of it as reading Marcia Brady's diary, only unlike Cindy, you're not going to get busted for it.

What I've noticed is some days I really need/want to talk about it all, and somedays I just want it to go away and never speak the dreaded words...

SPINAL CORD INJURY.  Spinal infarction.  Ischemic lesion in spinal cord.   Partial paralysis.  Medical Rehab (as opposed to substance! Just medical people, just medical here.)  Physical Therapy.  Occupational Therapy.  Recreational Therapy (ok that one isn't so bad, but...)

Brown-Sequard Syndrome. (syndrome?!)

And then there are the buzz words I'm learning ...
"Transfers"  "Mobility"  "Tone"  "Clonus"  "Hyper reflexes" "Nerve stimuli" "Spinal Precautions"  "Foot Drop"
"Handicapped access"  "Disability" "Neuro....anything"

And of course...equipment....
WHEELCHAIR (gross).  Walker.  Harness.  Boot.  Bioness 300.  Binder. 

Lots of words.  That didn't pertain to me til May 10.  But they do now.  And will forever.  Maybe not as much as time goes on, but they will be part of my new normal forever.

I'll back up. 

Since March of 2010, I've had recurrent bouts of pancreatitis.  The first time I went in, (March 22, 2010) I had pancreatitis but they also found a weird mass in my right lung.  During the susequent months, I had several more bouts of pancreatitis, but the Dr's were more concerned about the lung mass.  Especially once they found a lesion on my adrenal gland as well.  After several inconclusive biopsies, they removed the lung mass at the U of U in November of 2010.  It felt like a long recovery, and I was on oxygen for a few months, but it went well, and most importantly---the mass was benign! Woot!  They also biopsied my adrenal gland and it came back benign.  Another WOOT!   The pancreatitis problem was consistent though and I had several admissions to the hospital to treat that.  So...once I was strong enough (and admitted for pancreatitis twice in one month), it was decided to go in and figure out what the heck the problem was.

May 10, 2011 I had surgery to fix it.  Most of us have 1 duct between our liver/pancreas.  I have THREE.  Hello! It's triplets!  So Dr. repaired that.  (I gotta get to the point here.  This is too long)   Anyway, in the OR, right before they put me out for surgery, they put in an epidural to control post op pain. (I had one after my lung too.  It provides pretty dense, complete pain relief without the side effects of narcotics.  The theory is you just are numb but not quite as loopy/nauseous etc because you're not taking all the weird narcs)  The Dr. had a difficult time getting the epidural in, but he did.   My surgery was supposed to take 3 hours...and 7 hours later, the triplets were repaired.  Dr. said a liver transplant would have been easier than what he did. 

My post op pain from the abdominal aspect was little to nothing.  But from the moment I woke up, my head and back hurt more than anything I've ever experienced.  Ever.  I was unable to get relief (well, mostly because the staff ignored me, but I'm not even going into that here....)  The 2nd night after surgery, my right leg started spasm-ing (I may have made that word up....don't judge), my foot started dragging, and I never felt my left leg sensation wake up ... ever.   I actually though the toilet seat in the hospital had a seat heater that was broken on one side because it felt cold under the left side and warm/nothing under the right. (remember the TMI warning?)

I was discharged after a week and went home where the spasms continued every night and my foot/leg continued to drag. Finally one night, (May 26?) The spasms were setting in in my leg (they usually started between 9-10pm) and that night, they were going up my back as well. Mat suggested we go to the U.  I said, "No.....everytime I go to the U, they keep me!" :)  I suggested we just go down the street to Lakeview Hospital, thinking they'd just give me a muscle relaxant, or some of those Doan's Back Pills that old people take, and maybe an Ambien or something, and then they'd send me home to sleep.    So...off to Lakeview we went.  They were awesome.  Sat in waiting room of ER for about 5 mins. and I was back in a room.  Bascially, the Dr. asked me to lift my toes (flex my foot) and when it didn't, he had me in the MRI machine.   They were so kind.  Had an IV going with pain meds and got the spasms to stop (well, I assume the stopped, but I was zzzzzz from whatever they gave me, so life was beautiful!)  Literally, it was the FIRST time in 2+ weeks I was out of pain.  Or at least could manage it.  At home, and especially in the hospital after surgery....wow.  I've NEVER experienced anything close to the pain I had.  I'd finally just lay on the hot pad as hot as I could stand it because the burning was the only thing that offset the excruciating pain in my back/head.  Ugh.  Can't even think about it.  Might barf.

Anyway, next thing I remember, the Lakeveiw Dr. told me they were sending me to the U of U Neuro ICU because there is a problem in my spinal cord.  Wanna know the problem?

I have "an ischemic lesion from T5-T12 caused by a spinal infarction, likely caused by an epidural which was placed intraoperatively and 'fell out' on day 1."  I have Brown-Sequard Syndrome....Google it.  Or maybe that's another post.   But this is  a spinal cord injury usually seen in gunshot wounds or stabbing...or in my case...an epidural!

I spent several days in Neuro ICU up here at the U, and now I'm in the Medical Rehab Unit (room 2617 just fyi...) learning my 'new normal.'  I keep saying that.  But it sounds less daunting than 'new lifestyle' or something like 'complete life change'.  Whatever...

I have different therapies 5xs each day; 2 sessions of Occupational Therapy, 2 sessions of Physical Therapy, and a Recreational Therapy session every day.  I look around here and it's surreal.  I have a wheelchair next to my bed.  My leg won't move.  I can't feel the other.  I go downstairs with my "neighbors" and I don't belong here! Theses people have disabilities!  Oh wait.  I guess I do, too.  Now.   But I feel like a rock star.  Most of the people here have Christopher Reeve type injuries.  Or severe stroke.  There are 3 classifications: TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), Stroke, and my classification....Spinal Cord Injury.  But I can move better than all of them.  I'm not complaining.

Sometimes it's actually funny.  Like, yesterday, I did "Kitchen Mobility".  In the gym, where all therapies take place, there's a kitchen.  Like a model kitchen from Home Depot.  So you have to go in there and do something....like pull out the plates and not drop them.  Load the dishwasher. HOLD IT! I don't have to do that ever again!  I have SPINAL PRECAUTIONS....the rule is "No BLT"  Which is Bending, Lifting, Twisting.  So anything that requires those actions is off my list.   I think loading a dishwasher definitely qualifies.  Sweet!  Anyway, during my Kitchen Mobility, I made chocolate chip cookies.  The kitchen is fully stocked.  They pulled out some mix and I said..."Uh no.  No mixes."  So I just did my usual recipe and it makes about 1000 cookies.  I told them I only bake in bulk.  They (the employees/therapists) were all so cute about it.  They came in and ate all the cookies and acted like I'd done some major accomplishment.  It was fun.  Today I have one more Kitchen Mobility.  Mat brought bananas (I keep ripe ones in the freezer of course) and I'm doing banana bread.  Maybe I can bake my way out of here.

It's weird to be in the kitchen and not be able to bend reach lift or do anything "normal"  But we will figure it out.  I guess just wrapping my brain around it all is a process, not an event. 

That's it for now.  More later, I'm sure...

Thank you to ALL for the love and support.  The visits keep me sane.  The treats keep me happy.  And I feel the prayers every day.  I am blessed. 

this is chloe. so sorry our fam. blog has not had a post for like years! ever since the wedding things have been crazy. halle turned 3, chloe is turning 11 in feb. meg is turning 10 in march, tanner is learning banjo, katie is in the jr. R.O.T.C, sara and riley have a dog, bronx, mati is speaking spanish amazing, and mom and dad went to cali. for a trip! new years went well, we all went to sunvalley idaho. BLAST! we have a new amazing nanny, dez. things have been going well.

The Proposal

Hello All! Sara here.
A lot of people have been asking lately how Riley proposed. And to be honest, I am simply thrilled to tell the story! It was perfect. However, our close family friends, and really my second set of parents, Von and Karen Larson were at the scene to film the actual proposal. Their son Taylor is serving a mission in Washington State and she wrote him to tell all about it. As much as I love telling the story, or hearing Riley tell it, I love what she wrote even more. So without further ado... The Proposal as told by Aunt Karen!


"I was cleaning the kitchen and thinking about our little Bear Lake house and wondering if Tanner Andresen had any ideas on what we could do to increase rentals when the phone rang. It was Shelly, and she asked if I could do a favor for her. She said that Riley was planning to propose to Sara at 8:30 that night, and wondered if I would lurk around the proposal site and video it. I jumped at the change to be a part (even a minor stalker part) of such an important event. Riley’s plan was to lead Sara to the garden roof of the Conference Center and when Sara looked out at the spectacular view of Salt Lake, she would see her family holding signs for Riley that said, “Sara, will you marry me?” When Sara turned to look at Riley, he would be on his knee with the ring. My job (well, the job that I delegated to Dad) was to catch this all on video.
My concern was that the roof would close, and the whole plan wouldn’t work out. I called Nana and she said yes, the roof closes at dusk but I was welcome to take her car and her parking pass so we could park under the Conference Center. Upon arrival at the CC, we discovered that Riley is a very persuasive young man, and had convinced the Saturday night director to give him access to the roof. All of the workers were excited and in on the plan. Tanner stopped by to make sure all was in place, and then Dad and I were escorted up to the roof to scope out where we’d be. The view was spectacular, and Dad got some great shots of the temple.
Sara and Riley arrived right on schedule after doing baptisms for the dead, and having the ring dropped off by a friend (it was getting sized and not ready when Riley went to pick it up). We were too far away to hear much of what was said, but it was pretty obvious Sara was excited to say yes. I did hear her say, "You stinker!" As they hugged, I was overwhelmed with the Spirit and had to shed a few tears. I was really caught off guard at how spiritual the moment was, but as I’ve thought about it, it makes absolute sense that the Spirit would be fully in attendance at a moment when an eternal family is created. I am so happy for them, and deeply grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who has created a plan for us to be together forever."

Who would have thought six years later we would be getting married?!

willy wonka...

the girls ( mati and i) are in the play willy wonka ( the william penn play) and so far what i here is... mom, why do we have to wake up so early? well i can't judge myself ( chloe) we have to wake up at 6:30! how would you like it to wake up that early? well... IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have go to " hello dolly" the play, bye

WEDDING

June 8, 2010

sara jane stewart...

tonight sara got engaged to riley stewart! we are SO happy for them.
the wedding is in may ( we think). we our so blessed that riley is in our family now!
we love riley. p.s this is chloe.

If i wanted my own blog....

I would have gotten one. But i dont so i dont have one. Whatever. I figure i am the only one who reads it anyhow. Ps this is Katie.
My Mom just started a catering/dessert buffet thing with her friend Mindy. They are quite the people now. Always very busy. My mom was even on Good Things Utah!!
Tanner goes to LDSBC and is trying to find anyone who will date him :) He is happy as ever, just waiting for Ms. Wonderful
Sara is doing hair at Paul Mitchell Hair School. She loves it, I hate it because she comes home and tells me all the things wrong with my hair! She is dating Riley, Tanners "ex-best friend" (quote from Tanner). Love is in the air!
I decided to switch it up and go to Brighton High School. I LOVE IT! School is so much fun. High school is just a blast. I quit my job at Cowboy Grub, so if you know anywhere that is hiring hook me up!
Chloe, Meg, and Mati are going to Pig Penn still. They aren't completely loving it, but who likes elementary school? NOONE!
Halle is plugging along nicely. She talks, and currently is VERY NAUGHTY! She pulls hair, hits, says NO!, terrible twos hit even our cutie Halle.
The Andresen Family is alive, and doing well! ALWAYS WELCOMING GUESTS AND VISITORS! COME OVER!